An Atheist's Approach to Death
Written by gerard on Saturday 23 May 2009
How does an Atheist deal with death? Two things have made me think about death and Atheism lately: a reading of Richard Dawkins' book, The God Delusion and the news that my father has terminal cancer.
Personally, I don't think my approach to death has ever been challenged by the death of a close relative. I've only attended a handful of funerals since my grandmother (on the McGarry side) died back in 1985. Of course, back then I was a fully subscribed Catholic, but I can only vaguely recall her decline and death. I might tell that story someday.
But for almost half my life now, I've been subscribed to an Atheist worldview. In later years, I've mixed in a little Buddhist philosophy with this: Buddhists don't shy away from the process of ageing and death, they accept it and embrace it. I read a few years back that some Buddhist monks meditate on skulls as a reminder that life is finite. Why pretend otherwise?
What I believe about death
I believe that you have one life. There is no afterlife, there is no purgatory, and you won't continue to exist as some kind of spirit.
I find this viewpoint extremely liberating. I don't lose sleep at night over final judgements, whether I deserve Heaven or Hell or how long I might spend in some purgatorial prison. As an atheist, my concerns are grounded in my own lifetime.
But do I fear death? No. If it comes suddenly, it won't be planned for, it hopefully won't be painful! If those cancers that like to feast on my family members visit me someday, then I might worry about pain and deterioration. But I won't fear death.
Deconstructing conventional attitudes to death
Perhaps because my conversion to Atheism required radically rethinking every thing I've every been taught about the world, I tend to second guess standard societal responses to things. Death is one of those things I've questioned.
Death is arguably one of the most written-about topics in literature next to love. Death is personified in many forms, and when we contract diseases like cancer, we use words like 'battle' and 'fight' and 'defeat' to describe the process of trying to cure the disease. I was particularly cynical whenever Jade Goody and her management used all these words and more to tap into the raw emotion of death in order to profit from cancer. That is the power of death in our society.
Death, despite his/her portrayal in art and literature is not a person. Nor is cancer a tactical military genius, hell-bent on conquering its host's body. Death - when you strip away all of the 'meaning' associated with it - is inevitable. It just is. You can't avoid it, and you shouldn't fear it. You certainly shouldn't concern yourself with unverifiable judgements and what your address in the afterlife will be - a mansion in Uptown Zion or a shack in the lower shanty towns of Hades.
In The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins noted that despite their belief in the afterlife, many religious people are afraid of death. Let's face it, your entry into Heaven isn't a foregone conclusion, is it? No-one seems to have the definitive guide as to what qualifies you for Heaven, Hell or purgatory. That's like the Russian roulette of the afterlife!
And perhaps that's why there's so much accute mourning in religious circles when someone dies. If there was a straight path to heaven, then funerals would be happy places. We wouldn't dress up in black and instead of mourning, we'd be celebrating the person's passing and the life they lived.
Speaking for myself, I'd rather know that my relatives were dead and buried than suffering indefinite torment for some long-forgotten misdemeanours before the gatekeepers of Heaven will grant them access.
The Poetry of Life and Death
Having found the conventional methods of dealing with death inadequate, I have my own way of approaching life and death. I think my outlook is informed by Atheism and Buddhism in this regard: Atheism in that your life will only happen once, and when it ends you cease to exist. Buddhism in that death is inevitable and that we mustn't treat death as such a tragedy.
In the first instance, having one life increases the urgency to make the most of it. Go out, have fun, get a job, make your friends laugh, fall in love, fall down drunk from time to time, have children (or don't). Whatever. Don't tolerate people, situations or ideologies that make you unhappy. Treat life as a blank canvas and you are the artist: the final picture can be unveiled after you've gone.
You'll find this rather eloquently argued on the De-Conversion blog. I especially liked this contribution from a commenter:
I am fairly at ease with the idea that death will be final and that my ashes will one day become part of the natural matter of the earth. This seems appropriate to me. Ironically, I no longer have to wonder and hope that I really, truly am saved and will get to heaven and avoid hell. The solace that Christian faith was supposed to bring me led to uncertainty and some anxiety. That anxiety disappeared when my faith vanished. In the meantime, I want to live each day to its fullest because life is incredibly precious
I've thought a lot lately about the traditions and rituals of death. Let's not treat death as a surprise or something to be mourned. Let's treat it as a natural event and perhaps change our outlook from one of prevailing sadness to a celebration of the deceased person.
If a person's life really was a blank canvas, wouldn't it be nice for the family and friends who survive them to sit back and look at the picture that person created while they were alive?
And you?
At the top of this article, I mentioned that my views on death have been challenged lately. In the last few weeks, I've wondered how well the Atheist outlook would stand up to dealing with my father's cancer. The answer is: surprisingly well.
I've found a lot of strength in this outlook, and my thoughts have crystalised into what you've just read. I've watched people around me struggling with the diagnosis and adopting the traditional roles of the bereaved. I will feel sadness when the time comes, and I know I'll miss my father but I'll also privately celebrate his life and everything he means to me.
Please share your own outlook on this, whatever your religion or personal worldview. Also, check out this thread on Reddit, which has a good continuation of this discussion.
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Comments
I've seen death close and
I've seen death close and personal, it's not so bad, not as bad as you imagine. But I refer you to the works of Sir William Crookes for a serious scientific inquiry of this topic, to wit: We ALL most certainly and really without equivocation continue on in a spiritual form.
Why I know That There is a
Why I know That There is a God and That He Loves Me
A Personal Testimony.
Years ago doubt was creeping into my head about the Lord and then a miracle happened.
Three years ago 100 members of my church were enroute to a bible camp in the Blueridge Mountains of Virginia. They were traveling in a chartered bus. As they sang hymns, Satan was up to his old tricks. You see, the bus driver was an atheist alcoholic socialist and that day he was filling his coffee mug with vodka. As the bus wound up through the switchbacks, the driver got progressively drunker. Then it happened. It was that day that changed this poor sinner's life forever. Entering a particularly tight switchback, the besotted driver finally lost control of the bus and it plummeted 1500 feet down into a ravine where it exploded into a fireball incinerating the flock. The only survivor that day was a young boy who was thrown from the bus by his father seconds before it hit the bottom.
This young boy suffered severe brain damage from hitting a rock head first and will have to wear a football helmet and drool cup for the remainder of his life. But his survival proved to me that miracles do happen because God does exist and loves me. The Lord used that accident to bring me back to his flock.
Hallelujah!
Praise Jesus! Just open your eyes to his miracles and you will see them everywhere.
That's a terrible argument,
That's a terrible argument, what about others who fall victim to tragedy and die? God must be blamed for that as well. You were lucky, but God had nothing to do with it. I know I'll not change your mind, but others reading this will want this said too. The laws of physics isn't a miracle.
I call Poe. (Funny though!)
I call Poe. (Funny though!)
Are you serious???This is an
Are you serious???This is an argument for you that God exists? What about the many people that died in the accident? What about the boy whose life will practically be a failure having to wear a helmet and a drool cup?? And the saviour of the boy was not God, but his father.
"The Lord used that accident to bring me back to his flock." -- what??? So God killed so many people just for you. As every religious person I've met, you're so arrogant and full of yourself and have the impression that the (eventual) creator of the Universe gives a shit about what you believe.
I don't see any miracles. I just see accidents and bad things happening to both good and bad people. You should open your eyes and live in the real world. People like you give a bad name to all the religious people (because there are a few religious people who are intelligent and would not say something so stupid like you said). Get a life.
Dude this is an obvious Poe.
Dude this is an obvious Poe. It uses a commonly remarked on fallacious argument for the existence of God (one person survive improbably where many died) but with a ton of negeative language, and it's engineered to get laughs, rather than a deep emotional response.
The universe in infinitely
The universe in infinitely large and it has an infinite amount of time to repeat the conditions that allow for each of our existences. When the lights go out at the end of this existence they will seem to immediately turn on to another.
I'm a slightly lapsed
I'm a slightly lapsed Buddhist in that I attended a Buddhist teaching centre for some time in my youth. I think they were a fairly funky branch as their thoughts on everything being temporary consisted of imagining that The Terminator was on the horizon and on his way to get you.One day he might appear nearer but other days he's taken a bus somewhere else (prior engagement). The point (I believe anyway) was to get accustomed to the fact that nothing lasts forever and not to expect life to plan out in a certain way as Arnie may well catch a direct bus route tomorrow and be knocking on your door so expect this and anything else is a bonus.I tend to believe in reincarnation so death is part of that continuum I see around me in the seasons and in nature and the universe. Obviously this view brings no great help to those facing death or the impending passing of a loved one who each may hold an entirely different viewpoint.
Reincarnation was one of the
Reincarnation was one of the Buddhist concepts I became uncomfortable with, to be honest. That and karma. For much the same reason that I rejected Christianity - none of it verifiable and surrounded by some arcane rules once you start to read into the topic.
At the same time, I find the Buddhist approach to be a combination of comforting and somewhat romantic, which is why I warm to it quite a bit!
I lost my dad this year to
I lost my dad this year to prostate cancer. He'd been ill for years with something completely unrelated and we found out just before the New Year that he had it. He was dead by the 10th Feb, but he was an Atheist until the end.
When we found out it was terminal, someone gave him a bible and he just looked at it and said "what will I need that for?" before handing it to my mum. He never even glanced at it again.
I just hope that when the time comes, I can die with the same strength, the same presence of thought and the same attitude as he did. He was very much into country music and the last thing he said was "the indians are winning". He wasn't scared, just so apologetic that he couldn't be with us longer.
He was 58. I just hope that I make my kids as proud as he made us.
I'm an Atheist, I'm proud to be one, and I'm just happy that my parents both gave me the choice to be whatever I wanted to be.
You'll come out of this a better person, and as cliched as it sounds, I know exactly what you're going through. Your dad sounds like a great guy.
58 is incredibly young,
58 is incredibly young, IceDragon. My own father has a good ten years on top of that. Clearly we have no idea how long he's got, but it's all about making the most of what time we'll have left.
Your story is a comfort though, and your father's actions seem to have given you strength too.
Just this past year I've had
Just this past year I've had a pretty close brush with death. I caught some militant strain of flu (No, it wasn't of the pigly variety), but at its worst, I was nearly incapacitated on my couch running a 106.9 fever. Just a few minutes later, I stopped breathing for about 20 or so minutes. By all accounts, I could've have been declared legally dead and should've at least suffered severe brain damage.
The reason why I mention this is because when I stopped breathing, there was nothing. There was no flash of light, no sudden rememorization of my life, there was only darkness. At first this scared the pants off of me, but later I found it to be comforting. The idea that there was nothing waiting for me after let me concentrate on the life I was living, not the life that might happen after I die.
Dear Gerard, I find your
Dear Gerard,
I find your views refreshing and truthful – exactly the way I see and feel about death. I am not scared, I know that I have tried to do my best here on earth – and I deserve the rest. I will leave four beautiful children – now adults – each with their own beliefs and convictions. I respect all other religions and beliefs and expect people to respect the fact that I’m an Atheist. I wont try to convince anyone to turn from any religion – My path was a difficult one – but once I accepted the truth – I was liberated – my life started anew, and I feel good about myself.
My mother passed away 12 years ago after a 10 year illness with a lot of pain. She remained a Christian to the end – All my love and respect for her, but I can’t help believing that she is right there where we buried her – at last without pain.
You are so right Gerard – you are born - you live – you die – it is what you do in between that matters.
Please, we do not need any religious sermons about someone’s god – we grew up with it – we heard it all – we have seen the pain, humiliation, rape, pillage and unfairness caused by the various gods. I am sure there are enough forums for all these gods. Go preach there.
But perhaps there is no
But perhaps there is no actual end to life. This body and personhood will die when the time comes, but is anything really dead? Look at it under a microscope and you'll see life in the ashes of a corpse. I'm just saying - perhaps death is an illusion, maybe life is as well. Quantum Physics is where I'm placing my bet for the answer to this mystery.
I’d like to comment on
I’d like to comment on something that I find increasingly baffling…I was born and live in the U.K. I was raised to believe in God (you know the nice white haired old guy). In my early twenties I enjoyed ‘putting straight’ a JW friend of the family, only to become so impressed by his argument that I eventually became a J.W myself. I attended bible study twice a week for the next three years…and learned a lot about the Bible and enjoyed the fellowship of some very sincere people. After these three years of study I became very familiar with the ‘party line’, but found myself increasingly testing the logic/rational (call it what you like) of what I had been taught and what was written in the Bible. I asked to speak to the elders and explained that I had decided after re-evaluating the information that the god Jehovah (or any other god) did not exist. Coming back to my original point …how can ‘thinking’ Bible students continue to go along with all the blatant lies and contradictions that their ‘wish-list’ is based on.
The God Delusion is an
The God Delusion is an excellent book, and one that finally had me admit I'm atheist (previously I was agnostic, not fully understanding it).
I struggle with the spelling of the word (atheist) so it's heartening to see that you do too — in the post URL.
From a fellow Norn Irn'er, I hope you're well.
Hi David - I never really
Hi David - I never really struggled with labels - I went through an intense period of questioning when I was a teenager which culminated in the simple realisation that God didn't exist. I sometimes forget how difficult that transition was, and somehow expecting to be struck down for daring to disbelieve!
I'm in the process of reviewing the Dawkins book. There are some areas I agree with and some I don't. He's certainly not the fundamentalist that his reputation suggests: I found his reasoning pretty sound even if he stretched his point a little when he tried to explain the rise of religion in evolutionary terms!
And yes, shameful misspelling corrected in the post title, but it's too late for the URL!
I guess I started to doubt
I guess I started to doubt the God thing at an early age, soon after my father died when I was 12. After I got older and out of the military, I got "saved",( from nothing I later found out). And realized my father was burning in the ever lasting fires of hell, simply because he didn't "know" Jesus H Christ. Mucho praying and unrelenting non quid pro from the allmighty, I have given up on all this nonsenseical control that is put out by the religious community. I almost had a revival a few months ago when I convinced myself that my prayers did "something" to help my sitsuations out. The only thing they did was give me a false hope that some mystical and all knowing divinity was watching my back and really had my best interests at heart. Worrying about things is natural, and I guess that praying and repentance is a way to ease your mind about things that you have no control over. Life is not unfair, it is impartial, "luck" is just good or bad things happening according the the impartiality of the way things turn out. To all those that want to belive in a fairy tale of going to good and bad places according to your actions then go for it. There is such a place on earth, it is called jail. If i presented to a sanity hearing that I wwas foing to be raised from the earth by fantasic beings and took to a bueatiful place, they would lock me up in an institution, as being delusional. So I agree with the atheist point of veiw, that when the light goes out thats the end .
I believe in God. To me just
I believe in God. To me just looking at the Universe, it seems hard to believe that is just appeared and was not designed. If the Earth was a little bit closer to the Sun it would be to hot to support life, if it was a little bit further it would be too cold. It seems that all these perfect conditions were met for us to exist. Organized religion is difficult at best, they have pushed me away time and again. I think Christians have made Christianity very dificult to be a part of. I think they use Hell to manipulate people. I don't believe that people burn for eternity because they didn't hear about Jesus. Why would God put that responsibility on us? I think deep down we all know the truth, but we all see through a muddy glass at this point. We really don't understand, it is impossible for us to.
God or Gods are culturally
God or Gods are culturally relativistic concepts that we use to help us understand what we can't understand. The quasi-logic is that if we can't comprehend it, then some greater "entity" than us must have had a hand in it. From there it devolves into the religions we see in all human cultures.
I guess we will all find out.
I guess we will all find out.